Its been a week or 2 since I last blogged. I guess lots of things have happened that aren't exciting but I'll tell you about them anyway.

1) I haven't been back to hynotherapy yet because I really didn't have the time or inclination to do it. I think it has something to do with being told you have to do something, even though it was my idea at first, with D*HS giving me the shits with the adoption process I seem to have dug my heels in on this on. Talking about D*HS, I also haven't had the 'possibly' last session with them, Daz had to work the day they were coming so I canceled.

2) Even though Daz was told that if he didn't work on the Sunday we had out meeting with D*HS he would be fired, he got to work after a 2 day break to be fired anyway! Luckily he had already been for an interview on the 2 day break and gotten another job. It just saved him the stress of resigning.

3) That Friday night after I got home from work, dad called to tell me mum needed to go back to the hospital! Yep that's right she is still sick. It came about after a routine check up from last years illness, it appears that the bug that they couldn't find but thought that they had killed, is growing again. Her kidney function went down to 20% so back to the emergency room where they were waiting for her. Its been just over a week and still no end date as yet. She has had that many blood tests, MRI's, x-rays, a colonoscopy but still nothing, no clue. She is even needing potassium now for her heart/kidneys.

4) I went for 2 jobs and didn't get either. It really looked go for one but at the last minute they stopped the process. Remember when I was fired last year. I was stupid and put my manager on as reference. The interviewing company asked why I left and she had no choice but to tell them the truth. That put a stop to everything even though other than that she gave a glowing report. The other job they decided to fill internally, an already trained person.

5) On a good note, I think we are definitely going to do the Thailand donor egg thing. I have some travel brochures that Daz and I have been going through, got some information from Journey Girl and we are starting to save some money. Everyone that we have spoken to about it, family and friends are all for it so here we go.

So we are excited about a new goal, have to finish the other process with D*HS, we aren't going to tell them about our plans of course until they are set in stone.

Confused about

I went to my first hypnotherapy session on Thursday.

We talked for ever and did a bit of hypnosis. I don't know if it worked however the therapist believes it did. I can remember the session which she said I probably would, but remember giggling through some parts which is why I'm unsure if I really did go into a trance like state.

The therapist doesn't know if there will be anything there like D*HS thinks there will be but she will try to delve in and find out. I might have been fighting the going under because I was really nervous. I didn't think I that I would be but I guess if I had started this for the weight loss I probably wouldn't have been nervous, but to go under to try and find something so bad that I had to lock it out is really scary. I don't think that there is anything there either but will continue to go so satisfy D*HS.

On another note, it looks like Daz might be on thin ice at work. I don't know what we will do if that happens again. What can we do, he just has to pick himself back up again I guess. There is hardly any positions being advertised for what he does but the ones that are there he is applying for. Funny enough his current employer told him Thursday night that he might get put off but then got mad when on site on Saturday he made a comment that he would work for the site people if they wanted him. His employer can't have it both ways.

At the moment we are just trying to keep our heads above water financially and have just paid off our aircon/heating. Next is Daz's car and out new hot water service. Then I think I can breath easy, for a while anyway.

no job for me :(

I think it went well

Just now gotten back from the interview which I think went really well.

They did ask if I wasn't successful at the branch I applied for would I be interested in another branch? Sounds promising, will know probably Monday or Tuesday............

you know when

you do something and then you stop and wonder why you did it at all??

That's what I'm going through right now.

I applied for a new job, got an email to be advised that they would be in contact within 3-4 weeks and then got a call today, the same day!

Why am I wondering why ............... well I am working part time at the moment and that is working for me, but this new job is back in a bank which I left some 15 years ago ( not same bank) and is full time. Just when I started to think about going back to IVF or travelling overseas for donor egg IVF or doing the counselling that DHS want me to do.

The interview is on Friday, now I have to make my mind up if I want to go .......

Mum's home

So glad to be able to say 'mum's home'

Mum was released today from hospital and to say she was ready is an understatement. She actually got up at 5.30am and got herself dressed and waited all day for the doctors to come around and release, just had to wait for one more test before they would release her. But let me tell you, if they hadn't let her go home, I hate to think what would have happened .................. to them!

Also we went to see DHS tonight. I will go and see a hypnotherapist just to amuse them, I told them that I don't believe that there is anything wrong with me but then keep on refusing to believe me. It will help me with my fears and also losing weight so why not.

Mum's still in hospital, but she is out of danger. Its going to be a few weeks before she's home so the next update I will give is her coming home from the hospital I hope unless something dramatic happens.

Onto the Adoption route ......

Well I don't think all is well on this front. I got a call and the head of the department stated she didn't want to talk about it over the phone. Not a good start. Then a few days later I received a copy of the report from the counsellor. I was devastated to say the least. I was gob smacked. Daz doesn't think its as bad as I think it is but I have a feeling this may be the end of the road for us adopting. I have to wait to see the agency, has to be before the 8th of January as the head is away after that date for 4 weeks. Mind you she has had the report since the 4th of November but only called me on about the 18th of December. Love Government Departments ............. NOT

So my next thoughts turned back to IVF. The next cycle could be March but that is also when Daz goes in for his heart operation.

Christmas day I also made 'the offer' to the pregnant niece in-law. She is thinking about it, although she said she would do it for free, but I know once she speaks with her money hungry mother it will probably change. I'm really happy to pay anything. Then we also have to figure out how we can make it official that we are the parents if we went ahead.