ANGRY

I'm just so angry.

A few weeks ago I found out from my mother in the middle of Spotlight that my nephews girlfriend is pregnant again.

This will make number 3 for them.

My nephew isn't even 21 yet.

Anyway, all was fine until I recently, yesterday actually, saw that she had announced on Facebook that:

'after her 1st ultrasound she was pleased to announce to the world that she is 11 weeks pregnant'.

I don't know why this made me angry, it just did. Maybe its the 'its not fair' happening again.

The funny thing was that same morning I said to Dazza, maybe we should offer nephew and girlfriend money to have a baby for us. Dazza, didn't know how that would work, I seemed to have it all worked out. We would just have them terminate their parental rights to the child.

I think this is illegal in this country to do but I can fantasise can't I?

My justification is that they are having their 3rd child on welfare, just like the other 2, they had their first because of the baby bonus, back then $3000, the 2nd I'm not sure if it was for the baby bonus but now the baby bonus is even more but handed out over a longer period.

Surely if I offered $10,000 or even $20,000 I was wondering if they would jump at the chance............. they could have another child later.................

I guess that she announced it on Facebook, now I feel like my plan has fallen through, even though it was only in my head.

But it could work................

I'm back

Minus one husband.

Dazza really wanted to come home today but the nurses wouldn't let him. Although I think he is doing better than they thought he would.

It was a really long day because he was due for surgery at 8.30am but didn't go in until 12pm so not back to the ward until 2pm.

He really wanted something to drink and eat but they wouldn't let him have anything for 4 hours. He was up having smokes at about 4 1/2 hours after surgery, going to the toilet so he thought he would try the can I go home trick but they again said no, it might have something to do with the drainage tube from his stomach!

Can wait to get him home tomorrow though.

Nervous

Dazza's in for surgery today, right now actually, 8.30am, first cab off the rank.

1 Gallbladder gone!

He said he didn't need me to be there and I almost wasn't but couldn't help myself.

He is my everything.

I'll tell you how it went later when I get back from the hospital tonight.

I will be a complete wreck when it's his heart operation.

Dilemma fixed

So there is no more dilemma.

I decided to end my 2nd job and if I need extra cash I can just do an hour extra at my 1st job especially since it pays more anyway.

One to my second accomplishment, I think I might have put this out there a while back but I had been to anxious to try it but last night ..................




THE DOGS SLEPT OUTSIDE!

Can you believe it? I can't, it was hard to not let them in but its been like 33 degree's here, its not like its cold, its quite warm and its going to continue that way for at least the next 4 months and then it will be autumn and that's not bad weather either, hopefully before winter 2010 we will have completed out extension to the pergola so they can permanently sleep outside and only come in when there is a thunderstorm or fireworks. It will have me doing less cleaning that's for sure as they seem to be molting allot at the moment to.

It also means that the cats aren't locked in the bedroom with us at night time and they can have the door to the laundry room left open to get to their food, water and litter box through the night without the dogs eating all their food, or the fear of the dogs turning on them in the night.

And this might be a by product of them sleeping outside but I was awake at 6am, actually refreshed, I guess that's what happens when you don't have a dog and 2 cats sleeping on your bed along with you and the husband, as well as the other 2 dogs at the bedroom dog waiting anxiously for you to get of that room to play with them.

Dilemma??????????

I have a dilemma ................ I have 2 jobs.

Let me start by saying I don't generally like to work in the best circumstances but now even though only working a few shifts at my 2nd job which is in retail, I don't think I want it anymore.

My dilemma

1. Daz is about to go in for 1 of 2 operations and he won't be getting paid
2. But that means he will need someone to look after him when he is home from the hospital but I will be either at both jobs or be too tired after working 2 jobs!
3. It also means I could end up off sick at my first job because I am someone who gets physically sick when I am over tired
4. I was hired as a Christmas casual which means if I wait too long to tell them I don't want their job it leaves them stuck for staff in the busiest time.
5. A big part of it is that I am lazy
6. But I can probably get more hours at my first job if I need to make more money as well
7. The first job has a higher pay rate by $9 p/h but the 2nd has 40% off clothing

I just don't know what to do. Daz's operation is on the 17th of this month but today he has his pre-op examination and he is getting bad pains which could mean that he may end up staying in the hospital or having to go back tonight anyway and have emergency surgery.

I'm meant to work tonight at the 2nd job after going to the first but am also worried about Daz who is going for the pre-op when I am finishing my first but before I go to my 2nd. I really don't want to go to the 2nd job but feel I am letting them done, even though I won't really see them again except for when I am making a purchase.

What do you think I should do?

thought it was time for a change

the weather is heating up here so thought my mind set had to change from mellow to bright and cheerful.

Soon it will be Christmas, if you can believe it? I have already started buying gifts, have already gotten allot of the food sorted, will order some chicken pieces and the bread rolls soon.

We have a traditional Christmas feast which means I need to be organised. We have both sides of the family over together which makes for between 15 - 20 people here for lunch.

What is everyone else doing? Do you start getting ready now or is it a mad rush to the end?

I haven't heard from the adoption agency yet, think that it will be on hold, I'm hoping not but what can I do?

We have a long weekend so am going to get stuck into the gardening, especially the back yard, will post some photo's if I actually get anything good done.

Nearly a week

Its been nearly a week since my last counselling session and still no word from the adoption agency about when our assessment will continue. #%$@ It's so frustrating having to wait for someone else. Especially since we should have been going to panel this coming month for approval. I don't know if the assessment is finished and we just have to wait for the report to be written or if there is still sessions to be had. Even if the assessment is done, we have to wait for it to be written up and for ourselves to get a copy to make notes or ask for changes before it even is finished enough to go to panel. With they way the government department works it will take them over a month just to write it up and give us the first draft which means good bye to having a happy Christmas knowing that we are just waiting to be picked. We will have to wait not knowing if and when we are going into the pool of people that can be even looked at for a birth mother.

Like I said, frustrating!